Night #2 - My Own 'Staying in Bed Technique'

And so, we had our second night of working from the Supernanny handbook on getting our little bear to sleep. To sum it all up in the first line; it did not go very well.

Do you remember Gumby? That little piece of green clay and his horse. They could bend and curl up into little objects and twist and turn like ... well, like pieces of clay. Just picture that with a little boy. This child seems to think he's Gumby sometimes. But instead of clay, he is solid and strong; stronger than me sometimes.

Actually, I just remembered what someone told me once about when little kids are tired, they tend to go upside down. They will stand on their head or hang from the couch. I wonder what happens in their brain. Why does it feel so good to go upside down when you are tired? I guess I should try it sometime. Is it comforting? Does it make them feel less cranky? Or does all the blood rushing to their head make them extend their time awake. Does it give them that extra boost like a cup of coffee? I don't know, but whatever it is, my child certainly enjoys it. I can't decide what I think he enjoys more though; going upside down when I am trying to put him to bed or making me CRAZY when I am trying to put him to bed.

So with the CD player now back in his room, I refused to acknowledge it. I refused to give in to his entertainment craving of listening to a bedtime story on CD. Both children decided not to read a book and said they were too tired. But to be honest, I think Charlie actually only said that because Kyle said it. Kyle really did follow through with his plan. Being the big brother and almost five, he knows best. (or so he thinks) He brushed his teeth, went potty, washed his hands, went into his room, turned on his CD player and hopped right into bed. He was gitty and giggly and very well behaved.

Charlie, on the other hand, proceeded to lay on the floor, whining with that low hum that he usually does. There were tears and running nose stuff (i call stuffies) all over the place. He was a mess. Refusing to get into his bed, wanting a book, not wanting a book, wanting a stuffed animal, not wanting a stuffed animal and it goes on. "...A lot of things he'll say he wants will be contradictory. He'll want his shoes on and he'll want his shoes off - at the same time." (pg. 31, Supernanny, How to Get the Best from Your Children)

I have to say, I really gave it the ol' college try. With all my might, I tried not to give in to the CD story. It's Toy Story. It's the current favorite movie, characters and CD story. But it's major entertainment, none the less for this hour of the night. And I'm still dealing with his crying for a Woody Doll, Ham the Pig, Jessie and his cowboy hat....can't forget the cowboy hat!!! A haunting voice makes it's way into my thoughts; "A few comforters or soft toys can all help ease the separation of bedtime, but don't turn the bed into a playpen." (pg. 186, Supernanny, How to Get the Best from Your Children, How to Put Your Child to Bed). I obey the thought and stay firm.

"Don't get in the habit of waiting with your child until he falls asleep. If he's tired and you've been through the routine step by step, he should be fairly drowsy by now and will drift off easily." (pg. 186, Supernanny, How to Get the Best from Your Children, How to Put Your Child to Bed)

This mantra was going through my head like a record with a big scratch on it. As well as thinking "Well, obviously I didn't go through the "routine" step by step the right way....because this child does not show any indications of possibly drifting off easily in the near future." And then... it happened. I gave in. I put the CD story on! Yes, I know. I'm terrible. I saw Jo Frost in my mind glaring at me too with her nose down and disappointed eyes peering over her glasses. I visualized her watching the playback of this horrible scene of me reneging on her laptop the next day and saying to me "What were you thinking?" But exhaustion was setting in for me and I knew how much he needs sleep.

"Remember: you're not being mean. You are simply teaching your child how to get what all kids need, which is a good night's sleep. He doesn't know he needs to sleep, but you do. And you know best." (pg. 180, Supernanny, How to Get the Best from Your Children, Bedtime). And this is how I justified it.

An hour later, Charlie was still awake. The CD was on repeat and even if it wasn't, Charlie knows how to play the CD again. And again. And again. Not wanting to make a big deal out of it all and keep the drowsy theme going (yah, right), I did not take the CD player, but simply turned it off.

And then... I made another grave mistake against the Supernanny hand book. I stayed with him until he fell asleep. I sang him to sleep and sat by his bed. So to quote a bad cliche and make a pun, I made my bed, now I have to lay in it. Which brings us to night #3, which is taking place right now as I write this entry. Trying ever so hard to stick to a better routine, but still pissing off the spirit of the Supernanny, I am sure. I listen to little Charlite-Feet pitter pat over my head upstairs....Dammit!

To be continued...

Signs Come in Many Shapes and Sizes

Tonight, my best friend and I went to see the movie Julie & Julia. Very funny movie; so cute. My Mother used to watch Julia Child when I was little. She made so many of those recipes. Meryl Streep played her so well! So it was really fun to see this movie and how Julia started and how one strong woman can do just about anything.

As many of you may know, Julie is blogging her experiences in cooking each recipe from one of Julia Child's cook books. She goes through many ups and downs and blogs her way through it all. They also show Julia Child's story and how the two lives parallel. Julie was a writer and really wished she could make a living doing something she loved to do. In the end, she was published and as we all know, so was Julia Child. Someday, I hope to have the same dream come true.

It was pretty exciting for me (the now blogger) to see how this simple love of writing and food became an outlet for this character to express herself. Her heart and her passion really motivated her to document her experiences and she was excited to share it all. Maybe some sort of a sign for me? Probably not, since I went to the movie on my own accord. It's not like I was walking down the street and someone fell right in front of me and held up a monitor with the movie playing on it.

I was extremely moved during one portion of the movie. A song started to play and I immediately knew the song. Right then, I was five years old again. Except this time, I had a huge lump in my throat and tears flowing down my cheeks. The song...was A Bushel and a Peck. My Grandmother used to sing me this song when I was little. As we got older, it was reduced to just "I love you a bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck." I didn't even remember there was a song. In fact, I still say it to my kids all the time. "I love you a bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck." When I heard the song, I instantly remembered the words to a song that were lost in my sub conscience somewhere. Right down to the doodle-doo-doo-doo-dooo-doo..... I had such a warm and loving wooosh of warm air come over me like she was hugging me from heaven. I cannot believe I had forgotten that song from so long ago. I came home and downloaded the song by Doris Day from iTunes. My Grandmother listened to Doris Day? Anyway, so very special. Such a powerful moment for me during a powerful movie for me.

By the way, since I had a girls night tonight and went to the movies, I did not get to take part in the night time routine. My husband; who was not feeling well, had to give in and put Charlie's CD player back in his room with Toy Story playing. He said Charlie gave him some trouble and he just could not go on like the previous nights. In the end, they were both so tired, they barely wanted to read a book and Kyle even said "I just would like to go to bed now." And he got into bed all by himself. Charlie just wanted and needed the CD player. My husband (I'll call him B) turned it on and he's been in bed ever since. Maybe tomorrow night, I will sing Charlie to sleep with Bushel and a Peck. Just might work with an angel on his shoulder. Maybe this is the missing link to getting him to sleep easier.

Thank you all for your love and support as I go through each process of learning and understanding life. Thank you all for reading.

Bed Time Ritual...

Sitting on the floor putting a puzzle together with my two boys. Charlie; who will be three years old in November looks up at me and asks "Is it night time, Mommy?" I quickly answer "Yes, it is night time and bed time is coming soon." He goes back to finding the right puzzle pieces and seems satisfied with the answer I gave him. Me, on the other hand is frozen in my mind...."Night time?!?" I start to feel pressure in my chest, lump in my throat and I take a deep breath. I know what is to come. I dread what is to come.

Have you ever had that dream where you are running and running and then realize you are not going anywhere? Your surroundings look like the same spot at which you started, you are tired; without any more energy to keep going.

The night time routine usually starts off ok. The boys rush up the stairs like it's a race, even though each of them usually shout out "It's not a race!!!" And whether or not they scream that, they jump up and down yelling "I won! I won!" It's off to brush teeth, go potty, change a diaper, jammies on and then read a book. Throughout the routine, these boys sure make us laugh. With wet face clothes on their heads, they may sing a silly little tune about frogs or wear a diaper as a hat and skip around the 2nd floor from one end to the other. As we do find these antics funny, we realize it is not too calming or relaxing and probably does not prepare them for a restful and non eventful bedtime.

After a book, the dreaded time has come. Kyle usually gets into bed without a fight. He is content with an audio story on his CD player, no lights, not even a night light. Charlie, on the other hand has just announced that the circus is coming to town and he means it.

I hug him and go in for a kiss. He bounces up with a quick jolt and butts me in the lip with his head. He quickly whips out "I'm sorry Mommy!" and rolls into the wall. I tell him I love him and leave the room. He is out of his bed before I leave the room and as I turn to see what he is doing, he bangs right into me. I bend over to pick him up (without saying a word) and his flailing hands poke me right in the eye. I put him into bed and as his feet are kicking in the air like he is Lance Armstrong in the final stretch and I get once last jab in the gutt. I'm done.

Now, I don't know about you. But by 8:00pm each night, as a busy working Mom of two, I am exhausted. I just don't have it in me to keep it up at this pace. Now, the Super Nanny has helped me in many situations to keep my cool and help me to realize it's not just me. That I CAN do this. I love her show. Even when it's not an identical situation to ours, her techniques have helped me. So I bought her book; 'Supernanny; How to get the best from your Children.'

She talks about consistency. Structure. Routine. Giving notice before each stage of the night time routine. Tonight, I was on a mission. But as my husband was putting him into his bed, I knew it wasn't going well when I saw Charlie zoom passed me, giggling.

It's called "The Staying in Bed Technique" from the Supernanny. The trick is to keep up the persistent battle of getting them back into bed each time they get up. I have to say, I have counted some nights and it went up to around 92 or so before I really just had to give up. He showed no signs of giving in. He thought it was a game. Again, I have no energy for this type of lesson at this hour of the night. Tonight, I tried and tried again. And once again, it was a game to him. He doesn't get out of bed for a reason. He does not cry. He just think it's hysterical that he can run down the hall when he's supposed to be in bed. The sound of those pitter patter feet are not uncommon around here. So, Jo Frost talks about consistency and routine and to keep it up and eventually, they will get it. So part of me says "Sure, keep it up. They'll get it eventually. Will they? Or will they just be 15 years old and just finally say "Ya know, I'm really tired. I think I'll stay in bed tonight." Even now, I think I hear the pitter patter of Charlie-feet after he has been up there for about a 45 minutes already. I really thought he had finally fallen asleep.

So "The Staying in Bed Technique" continues. Out of bed, brought back to bed. Fast feet, arms flailing and down the hall and back to bed he goes. Upside down, right side up, light on, light off, reading a book, back to bed, rolling, thrashing into the wall and onto the floor - pick him up and back in bed he goes. Off the bed, pick him up, back bend, upside down.... and then Supernanny's suggestion of a soft, comforting doll; just one. He decides on Woody instead of Ariel. He snuggles into position, I put on his covers and his eyes close. Moments later, he is asleep. Wish me luck for this continued process of bedtime. I will keep trying!