Struggling for Patience

Adopt the pace of nature....Her secret is patience.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson









I often wonder what it must be like to be calm and accepting. As a busy Mom, I run from one thing to another; always in a rush, always frustrated with myself. I fluster over the lack of time, getting stuck in traffic, unavoidable small disasters like spilled milk or chalk dust.

I am amazed every single day with my children's ability to sit still or listen during crazy times. I realize that I cannot keep highlighting the times when they are running down the hall in their underwear pretending they are being chased by a Star Wars droid. I yell, I count, I threaten time-outs with not a lot of results. As I sit here now, I think about their mood, the time of day or the lack of my own attention to them during those moments.

Then there are the moments like recently; they each had their days of catching a virus and I had to bring them to the Doctor. Each had to sit in the cold patient room in his skivvies, waiting for the Doctor to come in to examine his sickly little body. They each sat, they listened, they were calm and cute. And on that day, seemed to have adopted the pace of nature. I admired my youngest son for being so brave and so willing to do whatever it took to get better. I envied the humor my oldest son still found in simple things like putting the puke pail on his head while he waited. These are the times to highlight. These are the times for me to rejoice in their ability to learn what patience is.

My children struggle with their own patience issues. I am positive my husband and I are the perfect role models for how to lose your patience. The most frustrating thing is when that flat Lego piece will not come off of that other thin small Lego piece! I hear screams, grunts and whines and finally little feet running to me for assistance. "I can't get this off, Mommy!!!" Falling in the driveway and skinning a knee really gets them mad. Carrying two backpacks, a lunch box and a coat can be a huge undertaking. And of course, there is always that one difficult jump that Luke has to make in the Star Wars Wii game that they just can't get right. As I said, I am not exactly the most patient person demonstrating my calming ability to take things in stride.

When I was in my twenties, I took up golf for a short while. I thought it would be a good social sport I could play that was quiet and calm. I liked watching it on TV, it was soothing to listen to and calming to watch. I knew my Grandfather would be proud of me, my boyfriend and I would have another thing to do together and I would develop another interest. I still believe it's good to find new interests.

Anyway, my Grandfather and I spent some time in his back yard with an old bicycle tire inner tube and a club they call a chipper. He would chuck the tube across the yard and I had to chip the ball into the circle. I loved the activity and especially the time with my Grandfather. I still think about it now and can see the look of pride on his face. The idea of golfing was all looking good from my point of view. Until....I actually stepped onto a golf course to play.

You see, on a golf course, the inner tube is not so close or even so big. You have to actually hit the ball towards this teeny tiny hole that you cannot really see. My aim was not as good as chipping the ball into a tire size hole a couple of feet away. My strength to even get the ball close to the hole was lacking as well. I was frustrated, annoyed and tired. I kept hearing from others around me, "You have to have patience." That is correct, you do. News flash, I was fresh out.

I would like to say it was a life changing event that gave me more strength to become a much more patient individual. I would like to say that. Instead, I just now know I am not a golfer and that my patience is lacking.

As I struggle now to find that new and exciting job opportunity that will make me feel whole again, I think about golf and how I gave up because of my lack of patience. I have more at stake now but I am just as frustrated. That little hole seems so far away and so unattainable. I just cannot get my aim straight, the wind is blowing hard and I'm tired.

Virtue is a trait that is defined as moral excellence. Is patience really morally excellent? I mean, do we really have to put that much pressure on ourselves to be morally excellent?

So in the meantime, I will put the puke pail on my head, smile and do whatever I need to do make this better. Moral excellence might be too high of a standard for me right now or ever, for that matter. But I am willing to try for myself and my family and to teach my children the lesson of patience; that even though the inner tube is really small and far away, you can reach it... eventually.