Bed Time Ritual...

Sitting on the floor putting a puzzle together with my two boys. Charlie; who will be three years old in November looks up at me and asks "Is it night time, Mommy?" I quickly answer "Yes, it is night time and bed time is coming soon." He goes back to finding the right puzzle pieces and seems satisfied with the answer I gave him. Me, on the other hand is frozen in my mind...."Night time?!?" I start to feel pressure in my chest, lump in my throat and I take a deep breath. I know what is to come. I dread what is to come.

Have you ever had that dream where you are running and running and then realize you are not going anywhere? Your surroundings look like the same spot at which you started, you are tired; without any more energy to keep going.

The night time routine usually starts off ok. The boys rush up the stairs like it's a race, even though each of them usually shout out "It's not a race!!!" And whether or not they scream that, they jump up and down yelling "I won! I won!" It's off to brush teeth, go potty, change a diaper, jammies on and then read a book. Throughout the routine, these boys sure make us laugh. With wet face clothes on their heads, they may sing a silly little tune about frogs or wear a diaper as a hat and skip around the 2nd floor from one end to the other. As we do find these antics funny, we realize it is not too calming or relaxing and probably does not prepare them for a restful and non eventful bedtime.

After a book, the dreaded time has come. Kyle usually gets into bed without a fight. He is content with an audio story on his CD player, no lights, not even a night light. Charlie, on the other hand has just announced that the circus is coming to town and he means it.

I hug him and go in for a kiss. He bounces up with a quick jolt and butts me in the lip with his head. He quickly whips out "I'm sorry Mommy!" and rolls into the wall. I tell him I love him and leave the room. He is out of his bed before I leave the room and as I turn to see what he is doing, he bangs right into me. I bend over to pick him up (without saying a word) and his flailing hands poke me right in the eye. I put him into bed and as his feet are kicking in the air like he is Lance Armstrong in the final stretch and I get once last jab in the gutt. I'm done.

Now, I don't know about you. But by 8:00pm each night, as a busy working Mom of two, I am exhausted. I just don't have it in me to keep it up at this pace. Now, the Super Nanny has helped me in many situations to keep my cool and help me to realize it's not just me. That I CAN do this. I love her show. Even when it's not an identical situation to ours, her techniques have helped me. So I bought her book; 'Supernanny; How to get the best from your Children.'

She talks about consistency. Structure. Routine. Giving notice before each stage of the night time routine. Tonight, I was on a mission. But as my husband was putting him into his bed, I knew it wasn't going well when I saw Charlie zoom passed me, giggling.

It's called "The Staying in Bed Technique" from the Supernanny. The trick is to keep up the persistent battle of getting them back into bed each time they get up. I have to say, I have counted some nights and it went up to around 92 or so before I really just had to give up. He showed no signs of giving in. He thought it was a game. Again, I have no energy for this type of lesson at this hour of the night. Tonight, I tried and tried again. And once again, it was a game to him. He doesn't get out of bed for a reason. He does not cry. He just think it's hysterical that he can run down the hall when he's supposed to be in bed. The sound of those pitter patter feet are not uncommon around here. So, Jo Frost talks about consistency and routine and to keep it up and eventually, they will get it. So part of me says "Sure, keep it up. They'll get it eventually. Will they? Or will they just be 15 years old and just finally say "Ya know, I'm really tired. I think I'll stay in bed tonight." Even now, I think I hear the pitter patter of Charlie-feet after he has been up there for about a 45 minutes already. I really thought he had finally fallen asleep.

So "The Staying in Bed Technique" continues. Out of bed, brought back to bed. Fast feet, arms flailing and down the hall and back to bed he goes. Upside down, right side up, light on, light off, reading a book, back to bed, rolling, thrashing into the wall and onto the floor - pick him up and back in bed he goes. Off the bed, pick him up, back bend, upside down.... and then Supernanny's suggestion of a soft, comforting doll; just one. He decides on Woody instead of Ariel. He snuggles into position, I put on his covers and his eyes close. Moments later, he is asleep. Wish me luck for this continued process of bedtime. I will keep trying!