Today is such a beautiful day. A beautiful weather day and even though I am so tired, a beautiful LIFE day. Today is one of those days that I feel gitty inside just thinking about my children. Don't get me wrong. It's not like I don't normally feel good just thinking about them. But there are just those moments that give you that little butterfly feeling, goosebumps and a smile that just will not go away!
Charlie started my day at about 12:30am telling me he was a little afraid. He put his arms around me and his head down on my chest. I took him back to his room and snuggled him back up in his blankets. He quickly went right off to sleep with a little smile on his face and his hands together under his cheek. He could do commercials or movies if he wasn't so disagreeable and defiant at times. But this was a special moment for me even in the wee hours. He looked like a little cherub asleep in his bed.
A few hours later, I heard “Mommy Mommy Mommy Mommy….” on the monitor. It was Kyle. He did not sound freaked or upset, but it was just a constant chant. In I went to his room and he told me he was scared of his closet. “It’s dark in there. I like it dark in my room, but it’s darker in the closet than it is in here and that scares me.” I told him it was just his clothes and toys in his closet and asked him if he wanted me to close it. He said “It doesn’t close easily. It will just open again." I closed it for him and he drifted back off to sleep.
A few hours later, I heard “Mommy Mommy Mommy Mommy….” on the monitor. It was Kyle. He did not sound freaked or upset, but it was just a constant chant. In I went to his room and he told me he was scared of his closet. “It’s dark in there. I like it dark in my room, but it’s darker in the closet than it is in here and that scares me.” I told him it was just his clothes and toys in his closet and asked him if he wanted me to close it. He said “It doesn’t close easily. It will just open again." I closed it for him and he drifted back off to sleep.
About a half hour later, he was back in our room. I heard his footsteps as soon as he made it into our room and then it was quiet. I opened my eyes and saw him standing there just looking at me; like he was watching me sleep. I asked him what was wrong and he said “I just wanted to be with you. I love you, Mommy.” I had him hop into bed next to me and he snuggled close. He must know I am such a sucker for that sweet talk. A few minutes later, it still sounded like he was wrestless and could not fall back to sleep. I said “Kyle, please close your eyes.” While snuggled in his new Buzz Light Year pajamas, he said to me “Mom, I’m not Kyle. I’m Buzz Light Year. Can you please call me Buzz?” I said “Sure. Buzz, please close your eyes.” He said "Ok, Mommy." He certainly did because I could not wake him up easily only an hour and a half later.
So yah, I had a couple of little side thoughts at work. (though really, it was a very productive work day for me) But the best part of my day is when I get to leave work and go pick up my boys and I get to see them by 12:45pm every day. They both took naps and when they woke up, we watched a quick episode of Curious George. Charlie sat on the ottoman backwards with his Woody Doll and Kyle sat slightly hanging off of the couch. We had a fruit snack and a splash of milk and we were good to go.
I noticed words today.
Nevermind. Kyle says this a lot. How do they learn words like this. He uses it in the right context and with so much enthusiasm. "Hey Mommy!!" "Yes, Kyle?" "Oh! Nevermind! I was going to ask you for my breakfast. I didn't know it was already at the table! hahahaha." He gets a kick out of himself too and I love that. Charlie just started using "nevermind" today now too. I'm not sure he really used it the right way. But it was adorable when I heard it come out of his mouth.
Actually. This word has been used for a long time now. Kyle uses it in the right context every time and many times during the day. "Actually, I think we better go out the back door so we can play on the swings first. Is that a good idea?" And Charlie will respond "Yes, that is a good idea, Kyle. Isn't that a good idea, Mommy?" And again, Charlie is trying to find ways to use this cool word now too.
Sorry. This word I really love; as any good mother would. I love that my boys use this word. I love that they use it in the right context. I love it when it just rolls off their tongue. As Charlie quickly swung open the refrigerator door, he accidently hit me with it. He whipped out a quick "Ooops. Sorry Mommy. I didn't mean to open the door so fast."
And tonight, as I am doing so well so far in keeping a strict routine, I believe it might actually be getting easier to put Charlie to bed. More cuddle time, more time in the dark than light, more consequences for not listening, staying firm and a quiet, non entertainment bedroom. Charlie whispered to me "Mommy, stay with me for a little bit and then I'll go to sleep." I smiled and gave him a hug. Of course, I was waiting for him to say "Actually, nevermind" :)
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